Why do men want lovers? ——Analysis from the perspective of social phenomena and psychological needs
In recent years, discussions about extramarital affairs and emotional betrayal have always been hot topics on social media. Whether it's celebrity gossip or ordinary people's emotional entanglements, the role of "lover" has always caused widespread controversy. This article will explore this complex issue from the perspectives of social phenomena, psychological needs and statistics.
1. Statistics of popular emotional topics on the entire network in the past 10 days
| Topic keywords | Discuss the popularity index | Main discussion platform |
|---|---|---|
| Psychological analysis of extramarital affairs | 85,200 | Zhihu, Weibo |
| midlife marital crisis | 72,500 | Douyin, Xiaohongshu |
| open relationship discussion | 68,300 | Douban, Bilibili |
| Emotional needs met | 63,800 | WeChat public account |
| male emotional expression | 59,400 | Hupu, Tieba |
2. Six psychological reasons why men seek lovers
1.emotional compensation mechanism: When emotional needs are not met in marriage, some men will compensate for this lack by looking for a lover.
2.Confirmation of self-worth: The sense of freshness and need brought by extramarital relationships can temporarily alleviate the self-doubt caused by midlife crisis.
3.escape from reality pressure: Lover relationships are often idealized and become a "safe haven" to escape family responsibilities and work pressure.
4.differences in sexual needs: When the sexual needs between husband and wife do not match, some men will seek external satisfaction.
5.social comparison psychology: In some social circles, having a lover is considered one of the signs of "success".
6.emotional expressive disorder: Men who are not good at handling intimate relationships may make up for their lack of emotional expression through multiple relationships.
3. Relevant social survey data
| Survey items | Data results | Sample source |
|---|---|---|
| The incidence of extramarital affairs among men | 34.7% | 2023 China Marriage and Family Survey Report |
| Main age group of occurrence | 35-45 years old (62%) | Same as above |
| duration | 6 months-2 years (78%) | Emotional counseling agency data |
| Active end ratio | 41% of men ended the relationship on their own initiative | Statistics of psychological counseling agencies |
| Regression marriage ratio | 68% finally chose to return | Marriage Saving Agency Data |
4. Analysis of social and cultural factors
1.The influence of traditional gender concepts: Some men are still influenced by the traditional concept of "three wives and four concubines" and regard their lovers as status symbols.
2.The fragility of modern marriage: In the fast-paced life, in-depth communication between husband and wife is reduced, and the relationship is more prone to cracks.
3.Social media fuels the fire: The convenience of various dating software has lowered the psychological threshold and practical difficulty of cheating.
4.A twisted interpretation of success science: Some success studies mistakenly associate polygamy with masculinity.
5. Advice on healthy emotional relationships
1.Strengthen effective communication in marriage: Have regular in-depth communication and keep abreast of changes in each other’s emotional needs.
2.Establish a mechanism for common growth: Couples set life goals together to keep the relationship fresh and growing.
3.Handle conflicts correctly:Learn non-violent communication skills to avoid long-term accumulation of dissatisfaction.
4.maintain moderate independence: A healthy marriage requires both parties to be intimate and maintain appropriate personal space.
5.Seek professional help: When a relationship is in crisis, seek psychological counseling or marriage counseling in a timely manner.
Conclusion:Behind the phenomenon of lovers is the common emotional needs and marital difficulties of modern people. Rather than simply criticizing, it is better to deeply understand its causes and actively build a healthier emotional relationship model. True happiness lies not in how many relationships you have, but in being able to achieve true intimacy and growth in one relationship.
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